Episode 294: Creating Effective Change as an Actor

Weekly Accountability Group Creating effective change as an actor.  I'm going to be talking about real coaching principles. Change can be scary and many people see a benefit in it. In not making change because the payoff is that they don't have to take action and they don't need to face the unknown. And that is a concept that I'm really going to be drilling into in this podcast, which is what is the payoff?  What I want you to do is I want you to write down  What am I not doing in my acting career right now?  So what should you be doing that you're not doing?  Now usually I don't want you to should, but for this exercise I want you to because I want you to then write it out for me.  And then ask yourself, what is the payoff?  What's the payoff for you not doing it?  And a lot of the time, the payoff is then I don't have to do anything. Meaning you don't have to take responsibility.  And also, you don't have to face the unknown. You don't have to face the rejection.  You don't have to feel like an imposter.  The fact is, you're never an imposter. You're just a human being.  You're just as, you're just as entitled to be on this earth as all the rest of us. I also think that by not taking action, you keep yourself in that cage.  Catabolic energy of victim, and when we are in victim, we are stating that we are helpless, hopeless, and I don't know what to do next.  I want you to ask yourself, what is the payoff for you not taking action? Your acting career, what is the payoff?  Because what we're trying to do here is we're journaling this little bit of work here to make real effective transformational change in our careers.  What is the payoff for staying just where I am right now?  Because this is the truth. The truth is that not taking action is actually taking an action.  Not taking action in your acting career is actually taking an action.  Just as not making a decision is actually deciding not to choose. Yeah. I know. If you feel like you want to vomit in your mouth just a little bit, I am sure you are not alone. When I was asked the question, what is the payoff for your anxiety attacks?  I wanted to smash that answer. I wanted to take my fist and insert it into the left cheek of my life coach because I was like, how dare you ask me that question? But oh my goodness, am I glad she did.  This is the thing, actors say they want to change. They say they want to have a working career.  They say that is what they really want in their lives, but yet they still stay stuck.  The whole thing here is, how do we get you unstuck?  The only way to make effective change, the only way to make effective change, is to focus on the benefits of the change, not on the challenge of making the change. So now I want you to think about all those things that you put in the beginning there about, I really should be doing this and I really should be doing that.  And I want you to ask yourself this question: how will I feel once I've done those things? How will I feel?  And then I want you to add the emotion to it. The emotion, because emotion is the fuel.  We can lay those logs on the fire, but when we put that kerosene on it and we light the match, kaboom.  I want you to focus on how you feel when you get that done.  Again, the only way to make effective change is to focus on the benefits of what you will feel, of what you will feel you have accomplished, of the self esteem you will have gained by doing what you said you were going to do, not on the challenge of actually, ugh, doing it. The best way to do this is to tie your values into your desired outcomes, to show you that this is what you really want and why you really want it.  Let's talk about values for a second and how they can help us to create effective change.  alues are the principles that people live by. The things that make them tick and drive them. And there are two types of values. There are fear based values.  If I don't earn some money, I'm not going to be able to make my rent. If I don't make my rent, I'm not going to have a place to live. That's a fear based value.  And then there's a conscious based value. This is what I want my life to look like. This is what I want my acting career to look like.  Now what I'm going to do is I'm going to align my thoughts and my actions to that goal.  Because I know I can, if I do that, then I will achieve it.  And gosh darn it, I know that's what I really want.  Now fear based values are the ones that cause you to take action or not take action to avoid something. I call them the have to's. I have to do this. All right, yeah, I have to, the have tos.  But conscious based values, they allow you to take action because they are want tos. I'm doing this because I want to. I want to feel good so I exercise. I want to. I want to do that. I want to go to acting class because I want to become a better actor. Because I want to be a working actor.  You can choose from passion, or you can choose from fear.  And you, the thing is that sometimes we do that consciously and we don't and sometimes we do it unconsciously.  So therefore, we want to be aware.  One of the things I actually just talked about in my weekly coaching group is this idea of awareness, acceptance, and action. First we need to become aware.  So I give exercises to become aware.  I give exercises to accept where we are at and then I give exercises to take action.  So here I'm going to give you some empowering questions for helping you to find your values. And then we're gonna again bring it back to that effective change. I want you to think about a time when life or your acting career was really good, and what was the value that was being expressed or honored?  What was in sync with you?  What did you feel you were doing well?  And how does that express who you are?  How does that express who you are?  So again, think of a time when your acting career was really good. What value was being expressed or honored?  Also, think about a time in your acting career when you were really upset. What was being challenged? What didn't you like about that? How did it feel? What was going on?  Then I want you to ask yourself, when do you compromise your values?  And why do you compromise your values?  I'll tell you a time when I compromise my values. When I get a case of the I don't want to's. When I get a case of the I don't want to's, then I'm not so strong,  I'm not so funny, I'm not so sweet, and I'm not so elegant. I'm just lazy. And if it's really not in a good place, I'm feeling really helpless.  And that's never a good place. In fact, feeling helpless is dangerous. This is the thing, when you do the core work, when you do this work on yourself as an actor, if you visit that place called helpless, called a victim, you can get yourself out real quick. And then finally, I'm going to ask you a question that is probably the best question anybody can ever ask someone: think about what you must experience in life. What must you experience in your one grand life that you have? What must you experience and why is that so important for you? Again, change can be scary and many people see a benefit in not making change.  But what is the payoff and what is the cost for not doing the things that you need to be doing, the thoughts that you need to be thinking, to do that thing that you must experience?  I encourage you listen to this podcast again, really write out my questions, really journal on them and get to know yourself better.