Authentic Relating and The Art of Conversation and Conflict | Sara Ness ~ ATTMind 164

Sara Ness joins us on Adventures Through The Mind to have a conversation about the art of conversation and its role in our relationships and vice versa. We also explore how play can help us develop and exercise our relational and conversational skills, specifically what are called Authentic Relating games. Furthermore, we also speak about how the possibilities of conversations can be both literally and phenomenologically psychedelic. ... For links to Sara's work, full show notes, and a link to watch this episode in video, head to bit.ly/ATTMind164 *** FULL TOPICS BREAKDOWN BELOW**   SUPPORT THE PODCAST Patreon: https://patreon.com/jameswjesso Paypal Donation: https://www.paypal.com/biz/fund?id=383635S3BKJVS Merchandise:  https://www.jameswjesso.com/shop/ More Options: https://www.jameswjesso.com/support Newsletter:  https://www.jameswjesso.com/newsletter *** Extra BIG thanks to my patrons on Patreon for helping keep this podcast alive! Especially my $23+ patrons, Andreas D, Clea S, Ian C, Yvette FC, Alex F, Eliz C, Nick M, Michelle M, & Chloe C  Another special thanks to Julie D for their generous one-time donation *****   Episode Breakdown (000) Opening (2:39) Thank you :) (4:02) Interview begins (4:08) What is a conversation? The levels of a conversation (8:40) Mindset context and its impact on meaning in conversation (11:52) Beyond the self; conversation and the boundaries of relationship (15:58) Conflict is not abuse (17:34) We are more than a single self; “No wonder conversations are so complicated” (19:02) The blurred line between what is conversation and what is relationship (20:11) Wounds from past relationships cloud our ability to see each other (23:15) Gaslighting and how do we determine if we are being gaslit? (27:00) Having conversations across polarization/ severe ideological differences; befriending the enemy (33:55) Meeting each other’s energy; navigating the levels of conversations (37:56) Conflict: what it is and how can we navigate it effectively (44:23) The value of conflict in relationship (46:25) The difference between conflict, fight, violence, power-over, and mutually empowered intense play (1:00:56) The value of listening (1:04:29) The 4 different relating languages (and how to determine them) (1:13:06) Games that teach us the skills we need to have healthy relationships; “authentic relating games” (1:24:52) What authentic relating games can offer us is similar to what psychedelic experiences can offer us (1:30:11) Accessing psychedelic experiences through authentic relating games; accessing shared flow state (1:39:49) Healing our nervous systems from the threat of slowing down (1:42:10) An authentic relating game for listeners to start with, “hot seat” (1:46:24) Not just about building skills, but building relationships too (1:47:47) Some follow-up links and content   ***** SUPPORT THE PODCAST Patreon: https://patreon.com/jameswjesso Paypal Donation: https://www.paypal.com/biz/fund?id=383635S3BKJVS Merchandise:  https://www.jameswjesso.com/shop/ More Options: https://www.jameswjesso.com/support Newsletter:  https://www.jameswjesso.com/newsletter OR you can buy a copy of one of my books! Decomposing The Shadow: Lessons From The Psilocybin Mushroom – https://www.jameswjesso.com/decomposing-the-shadow/ The True Light Of Darkness — https://www.jameswjesso.com/true-light-darkness/