Why Do I Always Feel Wrong Even When I’m Not?

The “I am wrong” belief is one that still pops up for me, and for many of my clients. The inner judge can be so critical, making you feel wrong for everything you do. It can often be triggered by what someone says. Maybe you’re at a neighbor’s home and comment on their vacation photo. Your neighbor says, “Yeah, my wife wanted to go to Hawaii, but I talked her out of it because it’s so overrated.” You’re headed to Hawaii next month so you get a pit in your stomach, feeling you’ve made a wrong choice and will be judged. When that belief bubbles up, you might be inclined to defend yourself, or quickly change the subject so your neighbor doesn’t ask about your vacation plans. Even when the comments are innocuous, you find a way to take it personally and make yourself wrong. I noticed this recently with my diet. I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t losing weight. My hormones, perhaps? The old me would’ve immediately thought I was doing something wrong, and would validate this by finding others who had no problem dropping those extra pounds. In my head I would’ve thought they were doing it right and I was doing it wrong. Now, however, I recognize it’s my belief talking and I don’t fight it. When you resist your belief, it actually grows stronger. Go with it, and it will start to lose power. So what do you do when you find yourself feeling wrong all the time? Make a list of everything you’re doing “wrong,” then call it out for what it is: a negative, limiting belief. Don’t try to put a positive spin on it; that just denies its existence. Instead, accept the belief as part of you, just as your fingers and toes are part of you. Your beliefs are real, but they aren’t true. They just FEEL true because they’ve been reinforced over and over since childhood. Once you identify and accept them for what they are, they will start to loosen their grip on you.