56. How to Co Parent with an A$$hole!! (High Conflict Divorce Co Parenting) with Deb Conley

Chew on this: It's not the divorce that hurts the children; it's the conflict.   Coparenting can be REALLY hard, everybody knows that. But coparenting with someone who's really difficult, and someone who gave you hell during your divorce process is reaaaaallllly hard, believe me, we know. We have heard it all.    So what the hell can you do to make this situation work? Well, we are going to tell you! Today, on the show we have Deb Conley, a therapist who specializes in high conflict coparenting.   Here are three ways you can reframe your mindset to help you BEGIN to coparent with someone who's not easy to coparent with: 1) Don't live in the past. (Look, we know they sucked when you were married to them, but not EVERYTHING they do as a coparent is sucking. Try your best to separate.) 2)Speak to them the way you would speak to a boss or a coworker. Take the emotion out of it. (Easier said that done, we know, but you have to reframe your mind to view this as a business relationship: the relationship of being effective coparents.  3) Let IT GO (of control) This one sucks, but it's important. You can't control everything. You just can't. You've got help yourself determine the issues that are MAJOR that warrant bringing up your concern to your coparent and things that you need to just LET GO OF. (If you are rolling your eyes and you want to scream, Andrea is with you. Having control is probably her favorite hobby) But wait, there's more!!   Deb Conley offers a course you can take to help you be a better coparent. It's done virutally and not both you and your ex have to take it! (Although it does work better if you both take it!) To sign up for the course, email: [email protected] Subject Line: CoParenting Course In the body of the text, mention you heard Deb speak on How Not to Suck at Divorce and they'll be extra nice to you! Course is available to everyone.  BONUS EPISODE on this topic over on our PATREON channel- go listen NOW!   Aside from that, Morgan loves girls' trips, Andrea does not.  Andrea is heading to Vegas this weekend with her kids to teach them how to gamble and party all night. (THAT'S A JOKE< CALM DOWN)   love you guys! Hang in there!!