106: A Couple’s Journey, Loss and Postpartum

Have you ever dealt with pregnancy loss? Unfortunately, it’s more common than we think and the topic is one that we just don’t talk about. Dealing with one miscarriage is difficult enough, but when you have the pain of multiple losses, it can be almost unbearable. How does a couple get through these times? How do you offer support to each other and keep your relationship strong? These are the questions addressed in today’s episode, in which we talk to a husband AND wife together about their experience with loss. Shane and NaKaisha Banks are a couple who dealt with loss, birth, loss again, and birth again. They share about their two rainbow babies, the anxiety and depression that came after, and how they have navigated all of this as a couple. In this powerful episode, NaKaisha and Shane share their story in hopes of increasing awareness about loss as a couple of color. Although this is one couple’s story, it’s a great catalyst for us to think of the family as a system. While we tend to focus on what happens with the mother, the male partner is deeply affected as well. You’ll hear the strength of their relationship and how they were able to pull together through their experiences. NaKaisha loves her roles in life, including Social Worker and life coach through her practice D.U.O. Empowerment Services, which stands for “Do Unto Others” and was begun in 2008. She is the author of The Birdcage, released in April 2018. She is the mother of two beautiful girls, London and Germany, and has been married to Shane for 12 years. Shane is a minister who enjoys fishing, sci-fi and action-packed movies, and lives a blessed life as a husband and father. Shane and NaKaisha share a passion of serving in ministry together, in which their faith is the foundation of life and difficult times.    Show Highlights:   Why their daughters, London (8) and Germany (2) are “rainbow children,” since Shane and NaKaisha suffered a pregnancy loss prior to each of the girls’ births The first loss was in 2009, when they weren’t even trying to conceive because they were living their lives and waiting to see what God ordained for them as a couple The first pregnancy and its complications, then a miscarriage at 9-11 weeks and a flood of unexplained emotions From Shane’s perspective: he was excited about the baby but found the miscarriage a tough thing to go through. He wanted to be strong and support his wife as much as possible How communication transcends across the relationship and allows you to be present, even without a voice How NaKaisha finds personal healing in being able to help others because of her understanding and empathy   Resources:   Connect with NaKaisha at www.nakaishatolbertbanks.com  Find NaKaisha Tbanks on Facebook, DUO Empowerment Services on Facebook, and @1stLadyGiggles on Twitter and Instagram