129: Miscarriages and a Rainbow Baby

 Chances are that you or someone you know very well, has experienced pregnancy loss. One of the ongoing difficulties surrounding loss, is that it is an uncomfortable subject to discuss, both for the parents and other people in their lives. So, these mothers and parents often suffer in solitary silence. When you couple that with the lack of education, information, and support for Perinatal loss and grief, you have a recipe for mental, emotional and physical devastation. My guest today is on a mission for change. Thank you Nicole for sharing your story through miscarriages and then having your rainbow baby!    Nicole Curran Sanchez was born and raised in Orange County, CA, and has lived in Sacramento since 2008. She works at the state capitol as a Senior Legislative Assistant and scheduler to the Chair of the Assembly Health Committee. Nicole is very active in her community and loves to help people navigate state resources. She is especially gifted in helping people understand paid family medical leave, Medi-Cal, and other state programs to help the most vulnerable populations, such as the homeless, seniors, and children. Nicole and her husband, Rick, are thankful for their rainbow baby, their five-year-old son, Cruz.   Show Highlights:   Nicole’s story of two miscarriages, beginning in 2011, and the depression and heartache that came from never being given the opportunity to talk about her feelings How she “kept on grieving” without even knowing why she was grieving Even as a health advocate, she couldn’t even focus on what was really happening to her In 2012-- a second miscarriage at 14-½ weeks, and the doctor treated her like a statistic As the doctor searched for a heartbeat, she told Nicole that 1 in 4 women experience miscarriage How Nicole felt, with no sympathy, no care, and no hand-holding The domino effect that occurred when Nicole posted a little about her story on social media and then a group of women shared and connected over their losses Why she found a new Ob-gyn AND got a rescue dog who ended up rescuing her When she was pregnant again, she was excited, scared, anxious, and very paranoid After 38 hours of labor and an allergic reaction to the epidural, she experienced the birth of her rainbow baby, Cruz How she felt: “a void of empathy, lack of care, and feeling alone” The ways of support that worked and helped her push herself to not get depressed Nicole’s advice to other moms: Name the losses, make a keepsake box, and honor the losses How her husband was her biggest support and constant source of comfort The emotional rollercoaster that dads go through with losses How Nicole wants to help and support others who go through loss How Facebook allows Nicole to reach out and share to help others How Nicole advocates for other moms in her meetings with healthcare professionals Hopeful messages from Nicole: “Families come in all shapes and sizes and they are all different. Your family is YOUR story and you aren’t just a statistic. Let others be there for you to help and support you.”