70. You Asked For It: September 2020 Edition

It’s time once again to answer some questions from my incredible patrons. I can’t tell you how much I love hearing from you all, and, at the moment it looks like we’ll be doing these episodes around once a month, so sit back and enjoy the September 2020 Edition! Today, we’ll look at an assortment of patron queries around such topics as introducing your dates to your kids, independent play and expressing ‘fear’, and toddler regression when a new sibling arrives. I’ll also offer advice about getting your kids to eat at mealtimes, dealing with ‘inconsequential behavior’, and managing contact with toxic family members both for yourself and your kids. Again, I absolutely love hearing from you all, and your questions are excellent ones for all parents to learn about, so please keep them coming!   The Finer Details of This Episode: · Don’t introduce someone you’re dating to your child(ren) too soon · So many factors regarding your situation go into the decision of when to do this · Recognize that your child will either become very attached to this person or rebel against them · Introducing many new people creates an unstable feeling in the child · To introduce independent play, start by setting a timer · Many times children will use the word ‘scared’ when they don’t have the right word for how they’re feeling, so help them in that moment to broaden their vocabulary · If a child is truly scared, you are going to know it · If a child is just regressing in one area, but continuing to grow in others, indulge this one area and exaggerate it · We cannot underestimate the effect of the pandemic on our kids · If your child is not sitting and eating at mealtimes, stop snacks · There’s not a standard for inconsequential behavior · If repeated talk of killing/shooting is targeted, it needs to be dealt with · If you micromanage everything your child says, they will rebel, so pick and choose ‘which hill you want to die on’ according to your values · When it comes to toxic family members, you have every right to cut communication, and you don’t have to foster a bond between the children   Quotes: “The only thing I think you shouldn’t do is, like, introduce somebody for, like, the second date…make sure the relationship’s got legs.” “Scared and hurt are two hot buttons for kids because they know that those two words are going to make you stop.” “The regression of wanting to be like a baby is so natural.” “He just needed to know that he was still my baby.” “There are words that can cause harm, too.” “As parents, we are the gateway to our children.” “The parents are the bridge at that age.” “I want to be around people who love me and who treat me kindly.”   Links: Jamie’s homepage -  http://www.jamieglowacki.com/  Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -  https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices