Ep. 569: Fear and Loathing in Salt Lake City

This week on Page 7 WE'RE GOSSIN' 'BOUT THE ONLY REASON TO WATCH THE SUPER BOWL; THOSE SILLY COMMERCIALS! Jackie's obsessed with Seal the literal seal, then Mormon-verse has everyone craving dirty soda, Holden got a taste of his own medicine when he just wanted to share a delightful young man with the wonderful twitch chat and everyone screamed how much he sucks AND HE'S MORMON, in more Superb Owl News Holden was decked out in his Red TSwift gear on the way to a party of Philadelphia fans and he got unjustly booed JUST LIKE HER! Travis Kelce showed up looking like a prequel Ron Burgundy while kissin' Presidential ass even tho that same man insulted HIS GIRLFRIEND, we're all hoping the Philadelphia Eagles will turn down that White House visit again, 'Montoya, Por Favor' explained (and it is NSFW). Kendrick Lamar has cast a pox upon Drake's household, and now there's measles breakouts at Drake's concerts, not to mention Kendrick's easter egg filled death blow of a halftime show (RIP Drake) absolutely did not disappoint and neither did the confused conservatives completely missing every point that was made because 'MURICA COLORS, and of course Drake is suing Kendrick's label because there's absolutely nothing else he can do. Puppy Monkey Baby made a brief appearance in an Instacart Super Bowl ad (to Jackie's true delight, and the world's absolute terror) with all the other forgotten horrors of the past, and finally after letting us all know how much he 'hates all fat bitches' (except Adele?????), and getting his website shut down for going full mask off with a true-blue swastika Adolf Hitler tribute shirt, Kanye FINALLY confirmed what we all had already known when it comes to his creeptastic relationship with walking coma victim Bianca Censori. Then in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: Banksy's identity is TYRA BANKS(Y)!?, a list full of Out Of Touch Celebrities Who Clearly Live In A Separate Reality FROM OUR OWN, blindzzz4dayzzz, AND SO MUCH MOOOORE!!!! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast