Episode 139: Healing from Betrayal with Gilza Fort Martinez, LMFT

Betrayal is a broken promise. And oftentimes when you are faced with the decision to stay or go, you are forced to decide if you can work through the betrayal or if it’s better to walk away. Further, a betrayal leads to erosion of your sense of Self. So, how can you move forward—whether you remain with your partner or not—and come out the other side with your heart and sanity intact? This week I am joined by Gilza Fort Martinez to talk about what it takes to heal from a betrayal and how to recover your sense of Self in the aftermath. Healing will take effort and it will take willingness, but there is a way out. Gilza specializes in family therapy, women's transitions, as well as marital and premarital therapy. Her work focuses on helping women overcome the devastation of betrayal in order to restore their self-trust and help with the decision to re-engage in relationships. Listen to hear this informative and important conversation. Show Highlights Infidelity is not the only form of betrayal. At betrayal’s core it’s a broken promise. (3:42) Some red flags that signal that you should seek therapy with your partner or explore what may be going on. “If we pay attention a little sooner, we can intervene.” (9:27) Losing your sense of Self in relationships: how it happens. (9:53) Why we gravitate toward toxic or mismatched relationships. (12:46) Gilza answers the million-dollar question: why do people cheat? (16:10) The difference between discovered infidelity versus a partner disclosing they have cheated. (22:33) How to determine if the betrayal you’ve felt is something you can work through or walk away from. (26:06) The essence of a sincere apology. Hint: it’s about ownership. (30:18) The emotional hits your partner must be willing to absorb during the healing process. (32:59) How to recover your sense of Self after you’ve been betrayed. (50:55) Learn More About Gilza: Gilza Fort Martinez is a bilingual licensed marriage and family therapist in Florida with over 30 years of experience in conflict resolution, improving interpersonal relationships, and navigating life transitions.   She specializes in family therapy, women's transitions, as well as marital and premarital therapy. Her work focuses on helping women overcome the devastation of Betrayal in order to restore their self-trust and help with the decision to re-engage in relationships. Her approach to helping you rediscover yourself is honest and solution-focused so that you can focus on living a fulfilled life in emotional wellness.  Aside from her one-to-one work with clients, she has a woman-owned and run practice and has focused on collaborating and encouraging other women therapists to start and thrive in their own practice! She also has significant experience in public speaking and leading workshops for corporations and organizations about a wide range of topics including stress and conflict management, improving communication effectiveness, leadership, and more. Gilza has been featured in multiple media outlets including Self-Prevention, Greatist, Shondaland, Telemundo, Univision, People in Español, and others. Recently she has participated in several podcasts highlighting women, their challenges, and triumphs.   Resources & Links:For show notes and resources, also visit: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/healing-from-betrayal-with-gilza-fort-martinez-lmft The Divorce Survival Program is here. Learn more or purchase! Gilza's website Gilza on Instagram JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP