Episode 35: He Did You a Favor with Debra Rogers

This week I welcome Debra Rogers to the podcast. Debra is a writer, blogger, break-up coach and speaker. She is the author of, He Did You A Favor. And she is also one of my real-life friends! Fun-fact about today’s episode, this is the first face-to-face interview I’ve done. And it was so.much.fun!  In this episode, Debra and I talk about divorce (obviously), more specifically how she handled the break-up of what she refers to as a “ fairy-tale marriage.” Plus, she shares openly about her 5-year journey to self-discovery following her divorce. Finally, she teaches how to overcome rough break-ups and grow into the person you were meant to be. Show Highlights The knowledge that your spouse can be doing the best they can and it still not be good enough for you. You can move on from it (7:22) Debra talks about her book, He Did You A Favor, and what the title really means (14:15) The anagram GIFT and how it can help, plus knowing that there is a choice—you can either stay in victimhood or choose to redirect and look for the favor or the gift (17:45) Debra’s interesting and eye-opening journey of hiring (and firing) a divorce attorney (21:14) How to become a good friend with your ex: yes, it is possible, but you have to be ready (31:23) Getting triggered, ongoing therapy, and the act of healing (42:27) Holding your intention for having a healthy co-parenting relationship (47:05) Learn More About Debra: With years of dating and break up experience, including one crushing break up at eight months pregnant (which evolved into a supportive divorce and loving friendship), Debra has earned her relationship MBA. As “The Ex Expert™” she’s passionate about helping others get over their ex, take back their life, and become the person they’re meant to be. Debra offers her relationship expertise as a regular blogger on the Huffington Post and Digital Romance. She’s also contributed to Gal Time, Relationship Headquarters, and has been recently featured in The Washington Post, Fit Pregnancy and Never Liked It Anyway. She’s appeared at the LA Festival of Books, the Women’s Journey Conference, and The Ultimate Women’s Expo. She’s also guested on 25+ radio shows and has helped hundreds of men and women get over their breakup and get past self-doubt. Debra’s heartfelt, humorous, tough-love advice has guided others into stepping into their power, passion, and purpose. Her book, He Did You a Favor has won high praise as well as numerous awards including: The Independent Publisher Award, the Next Generation Indie Award, and the Indie Reader Discovery Award (named as “One of the best books of 2014”). He Did You a Favor has been featured in Shape Magazine as one of their “Top 10 Winter Reads” and in She Knows as “One of the top 7 books to read on Valentine’s night.” Before He Did You a Favor, Debra worked the studio circuit for years as a script analyst and Development Associate for both film and television. Her passion for story was further expanded as a writing consultant for numerous motion picture and television writers through her company Your Best Writing Now. She’s been a beloved board member for ScriptWrights, a prestigious LA writer’s group and is currently on the Creative Advisory Board at West LA College.   She’s also built a successful voiceover career in 25+ film and television shows including: Disney’s Lilo & Stitch and Leroy & Stitch. She’s voiced strong, powerful women in Giant Robo, Streetfighter and Xena: Warrior Princess. Through her life experience, she discovered her own inner warrior and found that the strong heroines she’d been voicing were also within her. Debra’s now a warrior for others. She’s become a catalyst for change in people’s lives, both as a writer and as a coach. Debra currently lives in the Los Angeles area with her amazing daughter and has finally found true love. She is currently writing the follow-up books in her Did You a Favor series.