Episode 39: Love Factually: the science behind love and divorce with Duana Welch

The prospect of divorce is daunting. And with it comes some very harsh realities: deciding whether you should stay or go, fears surrounding your child’s well-being, and even what life will look like after divorce. Wouldn’t it be great if science could help us with life’s hardest decisions? Well, this week’s episode is allll about the science behind love and divorce.  Duana Welch, author of Love Factually, joins me to talk about those harsh realities of divorce, and helps us take a look at love, relationships, and divorce from a scientific perspective. She holds a PhD in psychology, contributes to Psychology Today, eHarmony, and others. All of her books rely on science rather than opinion to help men and women find and keep the right partner; or decide when it’s time to call it quits.  In this episode we talk about the social science to help solve real-life relationship issues, some of the circumstances that occur when a divorce needs to happen and even why there are better and worse times for re-marriage. Plus, we even talk about why family blending is so hard, the act of forgiveness and boundary setting. Duana reminds us that, yes, life after divorce will be awful for a while. But it will get much better, especially once you can understand, embrace and practice the science behind it all.  Show Highlights What gives people pause when considering divorce, from a scientific perspective (5:58) How women can avoid being a ‘sex object’ following divorce (10:27) The fail rate for second and subsequent marriages is worse than first marriages and some of the reasons why (15:17) Why children may be the reason subsequent marriages don’t work and some ways to help children work through being a member of a blended family or deciding when it’s the right time to marry again (16:53) Sometimes you just have to leave your marriage, understanding some circumstances where divorce needs to happen (20:40) Duana shares the shocking stat of how long couples actually wait before they go to marriage counseling & the kind of counseling that is effective (33:56) Evaluating the severity of the damage in your marriage (35:38) Forgiveness and divorce, the barriers to forgiveness and the science behind it (41:21) How to effectively set and maintain your boundaries (43:53) Learn More Duana Welch: Dr. Duana Welch is the original Love Factually author and coach known for using social science to solve real-life relationship issues. Following her PhD in psychology, she taught at universities in Florida, California, and Texas across 20 years. She is the author of the original Love Factually book series worldwide, and contributes to Psychology Today, eHarmony, and others. All her books rely on science rather than opinion to help men and women find and keep the right partner; and they all have a blue cover, for easy identification. Her Love Factually client practice is global, via Skype and other technologies. Thanks to science and Vic Hariton, she is happily married. For more information and free content, visit www.LoveFactually.co. Links: Duana’s website Duana on social media: Facebook  Twitter Instagram  For a free chapter of Love Factually for Single Parents [& Those Dating Them] and other free stuff, visit www.LoveFactually.co. Resources:Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group for Women