Episode 80: Taking Sexy Back with Dr. Alexandra Solomon

Are you ready to take your sexy back? As we enter another week of sex and intimacy month on the podcast, I am bringing you one of my favorite people to talk to about sex and relationships, Dr. Alexandra Solomon. Dr. Solomon is the author of the books Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want and Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want. She is also a clinical assistant professor at Northwestern University and a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University.  In this episode, we talk about the various ways women can reclaim their sexuality after divorce. We discuss the importance of attaching sexuality to oneself as opposed to someone else, shifting the way we teach and talk about sex, and how being vulnerable can aid in sexual healing. Divorce can leave you feeling broken and unsexy, but you really can own your sexuality and create the life you desire -- even in midlife! Show Highlights What prompted Dr. Alexandra to write “Taking Sexy Back,” and how it stresses the importance of reclaiming your sexuality. (3:00) Attaching sexuality to ourselves rather than to someone else. (5:59) Changing and shifting the way we teach sex education. (8:00) How the patriarchy has impacted women's sexual ownership and sexual power. (13:46) The spectrum of sexual coercion and manipulation. (20:00) Risk, trust, self-compassion, and consent. (29:05) How couples can navigate desire discrepancy. (36:02) How to talk about sex safely with your partner, when it doesn't feel that safe. (45:00) Learn More About Dr. Alexandra SolomonDr. Alexandra Solomon is a clinical assistant professor at Northwestern University and a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University. She is the author of Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want (New Harbinger, 2017) and Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want (New Harbinger, 2020). She writes articles and chapters for leading academic journals and books in the field of marriage and family and is a regular contributor at Psychology Today. You can connect with Dr. Solomon at DrAlexandraSolomon.com. Resources & Links: DrAlexandraSolomon.comLoving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships Dr. Alexandra Solomon on InstagramDr. Alexandra Solomon on FacebookDr. Alexandra Solomon on TwitterDr. Alexandra Solomon on LinkedIn The Ultimate Divorce Survival GuideShould I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group