095 Hammer (The Satanic Rites Of Dracula)

Dracula’s an idiot. We all know that he’s desperate for some eternal rumpy pumpy (let’s be honest, who isn’t?) and yes, he’s been resourceful enough to have found a mail order company that delivers brides by the crate-load, but that’s where his smarts end. He lives in a remote country house surrounded by a fence made of wooden stakes! His garden is full of vampire-lethal hawthorn bushes! His house is protected by a CCTV system that can’t see him! He has a sprinkler system, which is the same as deadly running water (and doesn’t stop his house from burning down anyway)! I wouldn’t be surprised if his car’s got a sun-roof. We never find out exactly what his company does but I’m willing to bet it makes pencils….or garlic bread.